fertility · Lesbian moms · Two Week Wait · Uncategorized


Today I am 10DPIUI. I go Friday for blood work to see if my third and final IUI worked. I had a dream over the weekend I got a positive at home pregnancy test. I have never had a dream like that before so maybe it’s a good sign.

I am getting a little antsy and want to do some home tests now. I dont know if I can wait until Friday. My period is due Thursday. Last time I got my period before I even got the BFN (big fat negative) so I am curious to see how this plays out.

We had an amazing weekend, which distracted us from the wait. Friday night we went to a wedding and ate copious amounts of food. Saturday we took a little hike through a local trail and stopped for a beer on the way home at a local brewery. Yes, I am drinking during my TWW. I have been told my my RE that there is no harm to be done to an embryo in this early of a stage and to live life as if I were not trying to get pregnant. So back the eff up if you are feeling some type of way about this. Do some research before getting on your high horse.

Did you know that you can drink while breastfeeding too, and NOT have to dump out your supply? Go do some research on that too!

Yesterday, we hit the beach. We have quite the set up. Umbrella, chairs, cooler, wind screens, a sheet and towels. We literally create a poor mans beach house for the day. We go to what used to be a nude beach, but now you have to have something covering your holes. We both go topless, with lots of sunscreen on the nips, no one wants a burnt nipple. S has what it called a snatch patch, a tiny piece of fabric attached to what is essentially a bra wire that goes on like a thong with no strings except between the ass cheeks, is that a good visual for you?

We had a Groupon to use before it expired so we stopped off on the way home. We spent the evening relaxing at home with our furbaby Rocco.

Now, Monday is back and so is the longest wait of our lives. This one, being our last try until S can try, will be even longer.



fertility · Lesbian moms · Uncategorized

7DPIUI Blood Work

Woke early to do yoga, but skipped meditation this morning to get to the doc on time. Thankfully there wasn’t a long wait, and I was in and out. The bonus to this grueling process, regardless of if I get pregnant, I am a CHAMP at getting blood taken now. There was a time when I would freak out, cry, curse. It was bad. With this process, I have gotten blood taken approx 25 times in 6 months! I am not saying I love it, I can’t even watch it being done. But the scariness is gone.

I will get my results later today. They check my progesterone and estrogen to make sure the levels are good, if they aren’t, I will put be on meds to supplement. But I am confident I won’t need anything!

Next Friday I go for my pregnancy test. The last one. I am trying to see if I notice any changes in myself that might indicate I am pregnant. So far nothing, I am not tired, well I am not more tired than I normally am. Nipples aren’t any more sensitive, although the first IUI they hurt SO bad I thought for sure I was pregnant.

The first week of the TWW is easier, it’s next week that will get me. We said we wouldn’t home test last time and we broke down and did. Who knows what will happen this time??!

fertility · Lesbian moms · Two Week Wait · Uncategorized

To Put Eggs In A Basket Or Not, That Is The Question

So my first round of IUI, all I did was obsess about being pregnant and having a baby. Every free moment was spent on Pinterest pinning room ideas, baby hacks and outfits. I ate, slept and breathed all things baby. My mind thought I was pregnant, I was planning every step of pregnancy and beyond.

My second IUI, I balanced it out. Pros and cons of being pregnant, part of the time I planned for baby and part of the time I spent convincing myself that it’s ok if I don’t get pregnant.

I suffer from anxiety, I have mentioned it before. So planning and overthinking is my life. In the beginning I though, prepare for the life you want kind of thing. So everything was planned as if I was pregnant. That’s how I cope.

Now on our last and final IUI, I have transferred more to a when I don’t get pregnant mentality as if to prepare myself for the inevitable BFN ( big fat negative- pregnancy test).

I almost feel as if I am cheating myself out of the experience by planning to NOT be pregnant but then on the other hand, if I planned the other way and it didn’t work maybe if I plan to NOT get pregnant, I WILL? Reverse psychology with myself?! Does that even work?

I consider myself very lucky to have my wife on the back burner. Straight couples do not get that, it’s either they get pregnant or they don’t have kids. Maybe that’s another reason I’m convincing myself that if I don’t get pregnant, it’s ok because we still has S to try.

Does anyone else play these weird and twisted games with their mind or is it just me?

fertility · Lesbian moms · Two Week Wait · Uncategorized

Loooooooong Weekend – IUI

Sorry it’s been so long but I had to take advantage of every minute with S this weekend. We had our third and final insemination on Friday. So that made it a 5 day weekend for me. S isn’t working right now, she actually just took her Nclex (nursing boards exam) the day before our IUI. PS She passed, of course!

Anyway, back to the main attraction. IUI was scheduled for 10am Friday. We went and got a donut on the way at this amazing factory thats near our house. This place supplies all the donuts to the Tri State area 7-11’s ( if you’re not from around here 7-11 is a chain convenience store notorious to this area) so they are pretty damn awesome. We know now from experience that once we check in at the doc, the thawing process of the donor sperm is a little over an hour. So we checked in and went back to the car where S let me listen to country music (which she HATES) while we ate our donuts.

This time, the procedure was quite painful. I have a retroverted uterus. Which basically means it’s tilted. But that makes my cervix harder to find than Waldo AND Carmen San Diego put together! My doc always uses a special wide speculum which he says helps him find my cervix better. Well, this time it didn’t help. Even with my hips at a higher angle and the special speculum, it took him 5 minutes just to get it in place. I even had to press down on my lower abdomen to try to help get my uterus into position. After all that cranking around inside my business, it was go time. This sample left us with 10.05 million sperm and 71% motility! He introduced the catheter into my cervix and away we went. That part doesn’t hurt at all, you cannot even feel it. Well, I cant or maybe I am just so beyond pain after getting the speculum in there.

Once he was done, we laid in the room for our 15-20 minute with my legs up in the stirrups. Instead of listening to music this time, we just talked. S held my hand and stroked my hair. It was a calm experience.

Afterwards we headed to a cute town on the north shore that we both love. We hit our favorite lesbian owned eatery with food to die for. We ordered and took it down by the water to eat. We brought a blanket to lay out in the grass overlooking the docks. We sat out and watched the boats come and go while we ate our lunch.

The rest of the weekend was a BLUR. For 5 days off, it went FAST. We hit the beach, we spent time with family and we spend time ALONE. I really needed this reset. I haven’t had 5 days off in a row since our Honeymoon in Sept 2015. So it was awesome to not wake to an alarm, even though I didn’t sleep much past my normal wake up time. Damn internal clock.

The next step is blood work Friday morning at 730 to check my progesterone and estrogen levels. Then the following Friday will be the blood test to check for pregnancy. So far the TWW is flying by. Let’s hope the next 9 days go by just as fast!


Negative OPK’s So Far

I have been doing OPK (ovulation prediciton kits) since Monday as directed by my RE. All have been negative thus far. Which I am kind of happy about so it looks more and more like I will get a 5 day weekend and have insemination on Friday.

I take off for my inseminations so that S and I can make it as memorable and easy an experience as we can. We have to get to the office at whatever time, and then about an hour and a half to two hours later is our insemination. They always say 45 mins and it has ALWAYS been a minimum of an hour and a half.

We have also read that being aroused could help. So before we leave the house we spend some “time” together. So between travel, waiting at the docs office and getting in the right mood it is just beneficial to take the day and make it as nice as can be.

I go tomorrow am for more blood and another sonogram and most likely I will get the call that they can see my surge in bloodwork and schedule me for my insemination Friday morning.

This is our last try and I’m really hoping this is the time our dreams come true!

fertility · Lesbian moms · Two Week Wait · Uncategorized

CD3, For The Last Time

We went for CD3 testing this morning, for the last time. This will be our last round of IUI for me. We originally planned to just do 2 with me, but changed to 3. Since out last two IUI’s were unsuccessful, we will give it one more try and then take a a break for a year or two and S will try.

My sonogram looked great, 12 potential follicles 6/7 in each ovary. So we will start Clomid tonight, 50mg every other night and the nights in between 25mg. Next appointment is next Monday to see how many follicles matured.

We are hoping that the third time is a charm and if not, we always have S. I am looking forward to knowing either way, what our future holds. I don’t deal well with the unknown, my anxious brain can’t handle it. I have enough going on with S starting to work nights soon so the anxiety of trying to get pregnant on top of that is really taking its toll on my mental health.

I know we will have a family one day, even if S has to create it and that’s ok with me.


fertility · Two Week Wait · Uncategorized

Old Wives Tales For Fertility

There are a bunch of “old wives tales” about things that you should do or eat to help get pregnant. There is no factual basis on these, but many women do it because hey, anything that MIGHT give me the slightest edge, I’m doing. I did EVERYTHING on my first IUI, which was unsuccessful. This time, I was much more lax, some I didn’t do at all, some I did when I remembered. I’m taking the laid back approach this round because, even doing everything right last time didn’t help.

Here is a breakdown of what I tried and why:

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. No not Lipton or Bigelow raspberry flavored tea. I used Traditional Medicinals Herbal Teas from Whole Foods, Organic Raspberry Leaf Tea. Started CD1, and drank one cup every morning until insemination. It’s not a bad tea at all and since after my first cup of coffee at home, I drink a cup of tea at work, I just replaced whatever I was drinking at the time with this tea instead. Known as the fertility tea, many believe it may help to prevent early miscarriage and assist early embryos in attaching to the uterine wall. I drank one cup starting on CD 1 and did so until Insemination.

Pomegranate Juice: 100% pure Pom juice. Pomegrante juice has been rumored to boost fertility by increasing blood flow to the uterus and promoting a healthy uterine lining. I drank  about 8oz of Pom juice each day until by 64oz bottle was gone. if you have a Costco nearby, they sell these big ones for a decent price. Pom juice is expensive! Its a tough taste, similar to straight cranberry juice. You can dilute it some seltzer or other juice if you need, or even incorporate into a smoothie!

Pineapple Core: You read that right, CORE. The core is high in Bromelain. Bromelain is said to improve your uterine lining which is essential to having a successful implantation and pregnancy. Take one pineapple and cut into 5 equal parts. The core is the most important part, you can eat just that piece, which isn’t as bad as you might think. You eat one slice per day starting on the day of insemination and continue the next 4 days. I make smoothies. I used the whole slice and add whatever I have in the fridge with some coconut water. I have even made it into a milkshake. Vanilla ice cream, slice with core of pineapple and some milk. THAT was good, but so are the smoothies.

Brazil Nuts: Brazil nuts are high in Selenium. Selenium helps thicken the uterine wall and a healthy lining to aid in implantation. Selenium also works as a mild anticoagulant that can increase blood flow to the uterus and ovaries, which may also increase the chance of conceiving. I ate 2-4 nuts per day, starting on IUI day until I went for my first beta test (bloodwork 14 days after IUI to confirm pregnancy)

This cycle I was much more lax, considering I did everything by the book last time and I STILL didn’t get pregnant. I drank the tea, when I remembered. Skipped the Pom juice, missed the first two days of pineapple core but I have eaten my brazil nuts! So we shall see!