So yesterday we found out that IUI #2 failed. After spending a nice night together with a glass of wine and pizza S went to get us from our favorite spot, we spent a lot of time talking through a lot of my anxieties, which are only heightened because of this very stressful process of trying to get pregnant.
I am very lucky to have someone like her to be by my side through this process. Many women have husbands who just don’t understand how stressful this is and that can make this even harder. She is so good with me on a regular basis, but with this shes even better.
I came home to candles lit, an incense from our honeymoon lit, which immediately brought me back to a very peaceful beautiful time in our lives. She does everything she can to help me through whatever I am dealing with. This time, it was something we were both dealing with, the fail of try number two. We have one try left and will start back up on Monday. No sense in waiting, especially with S starting work very soon, I would rather her be around to go to doc appts with me and be available and awake for our last insemination.
Today, we have to go to a baby shower for my first cousin and his “friend”. Yes, you read that right, a friend with benefits is pregnant and due in July. He is 21 and she is 20. This is their second child together. They had one last March and gave it up for adoption. Now they are keeping this one, even though they aren’t together and have no intention to be.
This is a tough pill to swallow when we have spend thousands of dollars to start our family and here they are just having babies left and right. Having to go to a baby shower the day after we found out I am not pregnant is just a cruel form of torture.
Unfortunately, there is no choice in this and we have to go. But tonight we will go to dinner together and have a drink and spend quality time together and re group for next week. I must be one strong son of a bitch, well I know I am. You would know too if you knew half of my fucked up life. But that’s enough content for an entirely new and different blog.