fertility · Lesbian moms · Two Week Wait

Making Something “Medical” More Personal

The process of IUI or IVF is very clinical,  and it makes me envious of those who are able to conceive by sharing a romantic moment. Being gay, obviously no matter how many romantic moments my wife and I share… we aren’t creating life. So we have no choice but to have medical intervention. But for those straight couples who have issues getting pregnant, I empathize with you.

It’s unfair that women who don’t even want to get pregnant, get pregnant without even trying.  Here we are, spending thousands of dollars to build our family and it’s not even the least bit “personal”. I have done a lot of research prior to starting the process on ways to make this more personal for us, I especially wanted S to feel as involved as possible.

We created a playlist to listen to during our waiting period after the IUI. The RE said to lay there for 10-15 minutes and then we could leave. We had our wedding song and some other songs on there that hold significance to us. So while I laid with my feet in the stirrups, S and I listened to some songs and stared into each others eyes, kissing on and off.

S bought me special socks of Etsy, that have sperm on them that say We on the left foot and Got This on the right foot, so I wore those. S always wears her lucky elephant necklace to inseminations as well.

This go around we actually had an appt at 10am, so we woke up and had coffee in bed and watched and episode of  The Fosters on Netflix, our official coffee in bed show. We fooled around a little, to get in the mood, in hopes that arousal might help things a bit, even though the RE is literally putting the sperm where it needs to be. We figured why not. It was a very smooth morning and we felt like we made the experience ours.

I’m curious as to what others do/have done to make this clinical process less clinical like. Please leave a comment with what you and your significant other have done!


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